The Student News Site of Simmons University

The Simmons Voice

The Student News Site of Simmons University

The Simmons Voice

The Student News Site of Simmons University

The Simmons Voice

Giving up on my zombies

By Toni Bee
Contributing Writer

Two pens and a pencil stick out of my hair as I begin this piece. I am sleepy, needing to catch up on my readings, and I want to glance at my schedule book because I am antsy as to whether I did or did not put the right times and days in for the Writing Center.

Sounds like the basic rigor and roll of your “average college student.” Except average…I ain’t. I am trying to get used to a sudden and new world; a world where I am returning to Simmons after a three-year hiatus; where my 14-year-old calls me from her b-ball game asking about getting her “hair did” tonight; a world where I am 41—old enough to at least be your aunty (and possibly your mama). Yes–I am back juggling three classes, that home life, a job, and a teenager. Of course I am loving it. Except when it comes to my zombies.

My previous existence was being a poetic mommy with intellectual blather in the day. At night ’till one, two in the morning, I was up watching my zombie show.  I had to see if it. Roberta and her “homies” were going to triumph; if the blond survived the bluish baby Z’s birth; and had to know were the Z’s still obeying Murphy’s every mind-melding move? Yasssss–staring at the flat screen sustained me…for a while.

Until a couple of things happened: I heard my mentors’ messages whispering to my brain matter, “Simmons, Toniiii…only a couple semesters left.”

The second thing that happened was my daughter Selena would come in and ask, “Ma, what did you do today?” When I had no answer back, and she responded “Oh, nothing, eh,” that straight broke me. I knew that I had turned into an intellectual zombie. I looked inward and was determined that dull state I was in had to end.

Yup—I gave up my zombies and replaced them with cerebral leanings. My one and two a.m.s are now dedicated to Gans-Boriskin’s news tests in the mornings and reading George’s 19th-century assignments with glee. I am trying and determined and…I want you to know I am not that much different than you twenty-somethings.

I am simply twenty (plus one) again and trying to write my way right.

I need you to know that being at Simmons means I am willing to expand and learn anew, and my presence here should give you hope that it is never to late to follow and achieve your dreams. Plus I even have gained a couple of “popping” mentors—Zuri who douses me with “you can do it,” coffee and fiery intellect, and Olivia who shares her poetic soul and tells me I am going through “cognitive dissonance.” Now that is a term I will ask about when I pop into the Writing Center…this Thursday.

Leave a Comment
More to Discover

Comments (0)

All The Simmons Voice Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *