Time Killers: the basics

If you’re reading this paper, chances are that you don’t live under a rock. On the off chance that you have just crawled out from under a rock and somehow came upon this article, congratulations! You’re about to learn how to be connected with the most inane parts of the world without ever leaving your room.
Almost everyone who knows what the Internet is has a certain familiarity with “Texts From Last Night” (the website that allows you to post and view regrettable, or awesome, texts from a presumably drunk evening), and “What Should We Call Me?,” the site that shows you through moving images, or gifs, how to react to certain situations, most of them outrageous. All of them directed towards college students.
If you haven’t heard of the aforementioned yet, read them quietly and don’t share this “new” discovery with your friends. They already know.
Those are the basics, now here are the spin-offs.
Be forewarned, this first by-product should not be read in a library, or alone in a cafe, because it will actually make you laugh out loud.
October Jones of the U.K. did what no one else ever thought they could, and taught his dog to text. He has been kind enough to share that with the rest of us by creating “Texts From Dog.”
With one liners that apply to any walk of life, such as, “STOP HAVING SEX WITH MY STUFF,” “Texts From Dog” shows us what it would be like if our own dogs could text.
The Guardian recently interviewed said dog (who goes by “Batdog”), which gave us further inside into this canine’s humanity. “Texts From Dog” also published a book on Oct. 25.
“Texts From Hillary” is another derivative of “Texts From Last Night,” brainchild of Stacy Llambe and Adam Smith (a team that merits a Google search in and of themselves). It started “as a joke between friends,” and eventually led them to a text from the Secretary of State herself.
The meme is a photo of Hillary Clinton on a plane, fabulous shades on, smartphone in hand, presumably texting. The best post by far was that photo accompanied by Meryl Streep texting, “Brunch?” and Hillary replying, “Obviously.”
“What Should We Call Me” has inspired several spin-offs, the most relevant is called “What Should We Call Boston Problems.”
Much like Boston itself, the parody site is centered around beer, but also untilizes the other intricate factors that make up a Bostonian, such as the use of “wicked” and the trecherous trek from Cambridge to Boston after a long night out.
Granted, the site hasn’t posted since Oct. 26, but there are 33 pages as is, and if that isn’t enough, just harass the moderators, like I do.
Welcome to the surface life, namely the Internet. I will be accepting hate mail come finals week when these sites are all you’re studying.