“Needs no sex tonight, the government screwed me right after midnight.”

“The government shutting down means I didn’t get paid which means I’m hungry, which means I’m grumpy, so leave me alone.”

“Do you think this shutdown is just an elaborate ploy by congressional leaders to catch up on the last season of Breaking Bad?”

“I love the smell of Federal shutdown in the morning.”
“I don’t really care, but the BC vs. Army football game might be canceled and I want to play so I’d like this to resolve itself like now.”

“Someone shared an article saying democrats were idiots, another said the republicans are the devil. So no one really knows what’s going on right now.”

“Government shutdown? Is that like a conspiracy theory?”

“I don’t understand this.”
“US Government shutdown by Congress. Nonessential workers sent home. Yet Congress stays. And they say Americans don’t get irony.”

“Pretty serious situation happening in America, but I can’t stop imagining the look on Ron Swanson’s face as he says: ‘The Government has shut down’.”

“The government didn’t shut down, it’s just attempting to install iOS7.”