“Why don’t you drink?” they asked.
“Why don’t you mind your own business?” I responded.
I’ve lost count of how many times people have asked me that question. The truth is, it’s not anyone’s business. Whether someone is recovering from alcoholism, pregnant, or avoiding alcohol for medical or personal reasons, no one should have to explain themselves.
I haven’t had a drink in two years, with the exception of a sip of rice wine in Korea. Before that, my relationship with alcohol was typical: I drank socially and sometimes went ‘crazy’ at parties.
I stopped because I was prescribed a medication that doesn’t mix well with alcohol. I’m sure I would’ve been fine, but I didn’t want to risk it. As you may know, combining antidepressants and alcohol is not a good idea.
I also stopped because it’s expensive to drink, especially in the U.S.. I’ve found myself not spending as much because one to two drinks really satisfies me – unlike if I were to have alcohol. In the past, one drink led to multiple drinks in a short amount of time.
The interaction at the start of this article happened over the summer. I was out at a bar with friends and asked a waiter if a drink was non-alcoholic. The person next to me immediately followed up with those questions.
Looking back, I realize that response had been sitting in the back of my mind all along, waiting to be said.
Usually, people follow up with: “But you’ve drunk before, right?” Again, it’s not their business. What’s next – my credit score? Why do they suddenly act like FBI agents?
Being in a diverse community at school has allowed me to meet people both like and unlike me. Fortunately, I’ve connected with others who don’t drink – or don’t drink much – for their own reasons.
At times, I’ve been in a room full of strangers and asked about the non-alcoholic section of the drink menu. I’ve felt like the odd one out, especially when people don’t expect someone younger to abstain. Still, I return to my values and enjoy a carefree night. Sometimes I even step aside to ask the bartender privately.
To me, grabbing a non-alcoholic drink with a friend is one of life’s simple joys. Whether it’s a zero-proof cocktail (which I prefer) or just a soda, the point is sharing each other’s company with something that makes you happy.
Life on a college campus opens the door to many things. Drinking is often one of them.
More than once, I’ve seen student life and alcohol go hand in hand. But even since I’ve stopped drinking, I don’t feel like I’m missing much. What I really needed was simply a fun drink while socializing. I’m not here to judge those who drink- they can make their own choices. I just want to raise awareness about those of us who don’t.
For those who choose little or no alcohol, there are plenty of ways to keep pursuing your goals- especially in college. Many school events don’t serve alcohol, so there’s no need to stress about attending.
Finding friends who share your values may be challenging, but your paths will cross eventually.
For anyone who feels pressured or embarrassed about being seen as ‘not fun,’ my advice is simple: remember that you are doing this for yourself.
