Awards are irrelevant—even at the Emmys.

The 63rd Primetime Emmy Awards premiered last Sunday night—but when I watch award shows, I watch them for almost everything but the awards.

Award shows are an excuse to force dozens of celebrities in one room to see what happens. It’s not for the nominees or the winners—it’s for the millions of us sitting at home, waiting for someone to mess up. Which, in turn, means higher ratings. As long as I get to see awkward celebrity pairings and Jane Lynch on stage, I’m happy.

But the following are what I consider some of the highlights.

Kathy Griffin kissed Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet after he asked her if she had “left a mark on anyone” with her red lipstick. Julianna Margulies stepped in and had to wipe the lipstick off Seacrest’s teeth. Awkward.

After Jimmy Kimmel started reading Jimmy Fallon’s acceptance speech, Fallon tackled him to the ground. Of course it was scripted, but it’s always fun to watch a wrestling match between competing talk show hosts.

The Emmytones, a hilarious singing group consisting of a random selection of young actors and actresses, entertained in between awards. It is expected that Joel McHale, a member of the group, will make fun of himself on his next episode of “The Soup.”
Actors are great actors—until they have to play themselves. Or they’re just really good at playing the role of “awkward teleprompter reader.”

As the nominees for Best Comedy Actress were being announced, all of the nominees went on stage in a pageant-esque moment. Melissa McCarthy won for “Mike and Molly,” but we all wonder if it was really her performance in “Bridesmaids” that won everyone over.
Sadly, Steve Carrell didn’t win Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, his last chance since leaving “The Office.” Infuriated fans, including his cast mates, loudly expressed their frustration via Twitter.

Modern Family dominated and won almost every award they were nominated for, causing Jane Lynch to refer to the show as the “Modern Family Awards.”

Producer Steve Levitan ended the show with a great story from a few fans: “You’re not just making people laugh, you’re making them more tolerant.” True to his comedic nature, he added, “They’re right, we are showing the world that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a loving committed relationship between an old man and a hot young woman.”

Award shows seem to be more about what people talk about—or, rather, what trends on Twitter—rather than the actors. Essentially, the entire show can be “watched” on Twitter. As Jane Lynch said, “Anyone not paying attention right now because they’re tweeting or playing Angry Birds, will, at the end of their lives, look back at themselves at this moment and burst into tears.”