December holidays are often described as a magical and joyful time. However, for many, including myself, they cause more anxiety than joy. There are so many responsibilities and events you are required to attend, and sometimes, it feels extremely overwhelming. Family gatherings can often feel socially awkward or uncomfortable, but there are ways to make them a little easier. I’ve compiled a list of ways to keep yourself relaxed and comfortable during your family dinners, from coping mechanisms to social strategies.
Bring stress toys to your holiday gatherings:
I find that having something to subtly fidget with helps me stay centered. You could bring Play-Doh, stress balls, a fidget spinner or any sensory item! If you want a more subtle option, I recommend playing with the zippers on a coat or handles on a bag.
Ask other family members about themselves and their lives:
Generally, people get excited when you ask them about their job, hobbies, etc. and an added bonus is that if you are uncomfortable talking about your personal life, you can make it about someone else. Learn about what others are up to without the attention always on you!
Take a break in a quiet spot in the host’s residence:
For many of us, socializing for hours at a time is unsustainable. If the holiday is at your house, it will be easy to take a break in your bedroom. However, if you are at someone else’s residence, there may be a room that’s quiet and less full of people that you can recharge in. You can always ask the host(s) if you could use that room for a break if you feel comfortable.
Identify a safe person you feel comfortable talking to if you feel overwhelmed:
This could be a parent, a grandparent, another family member or even someone you know who is not present at the gathering, such as a friend. If you need someone to talk to for support who is outside of your family’s “inner circle,” I’d recommend talking to a friend or texting a support helpline. Helplines, such as Crisis Text Line or Trevor Project are available if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable at any time.
Set boundaries if a topic of conversation is making you uncomfortable:
Not every topic that comes up in family discussions will be pleasant to talk about. If a topic makes you uncomfortable for any reason, feel free to mention that. Something people in my family say if this situation comes up is “it’s a holiday, I want to be happy and this day to be stress-free.” Even if you are like me and hate the holidays, I find this still works as a simple way to change the subject. Remember that you do not owe people an explanation as to why the topic makes you uncomfortable.
I hope these ideas can help you power through your family gatherings. Feel free to use any of these as they suit you.
