At a time of year when people are overwhelmed with end-of-semester workloads and seasonal depression, many use venting as an outlet. But when does healthy venting become trauma dumping, and how does that impact the listener?

Let’s start with what trauma dumping is. Psychologist Kia-Rai Prewitt explains that this term refers to “the oversharing of difficult emotions and thoughts with others.” 

Sharing your emotions is not usually a negative thing. We all have felt the burden that is lifted when confiding in someone we trust. However, the critical difference lies in consideration of the person you are speaking to.

Did you give them a chance to express their feelings? Is this the right time and place for such a discussion? Do they feel comfortable sharing their traumas in return? 

If it negatively impacts the listener, why do people trauma dump in the first place? It is not usually because they are narcissistic, as one may assume. Instead, for trauma victims, it is “unconscious anxiety that they’re venting and just start dumping onto another person as a way to release the energy and frustration,” says Judith Orloff, psychiatrist and author of “The Empath Survival Guide.”

This is not to be confused with healthy venting to confidants, such as a close friend or therapist, at appropriate times. We all deserve someone to talk to, especially those who have experienced severe trauma.

It is important not to overuse the term ‘trauma dumping’ to avoid turning people off from expressing all emotions, which could lead to more severe mental health issues. Instead, if you feel that someone is crossing a boundary with you, perhaps communicate that with them.

Say something like, “I’m sorry you’re hurting, but I am not in the place where I can take on your trauma,” or, “when we speak, I wish I could have a chance to share my experiences in addition to yours.”

Communication is vital in a healthy relationship, and the best way to avoid a trauma dump scenario is to ensure both voices and emotions are respected.

Healthy trauma shares should be embraced to deepen relationships and help people feel supported. However, be careful that your venting does not become an added stressor for the person on the receiving end.

In a time of holiday family disputes, final exams, and 4 pm sunsets, let’s avoid trauma dumping for everyone’s sanity.